News flash: I do NOT have it all figured out.
#realtalk: I pushed myself WAY too hard with the book launch. A few hours after I hit publish, I came down with the flu.
So, naturally, I started to panic.
Maybe this is a sign from the universe?
Or, maybe something is wrong with the book?
Is the universe trying to tell me something?
I knew I should have used a different body font, dang it.
Do you think I should change it?
Garamond may look more credible. (You know, that one dude got into Harvard Law with a full on Garamond application).
So, I'm giving myself forgiveness for the following:
Googling: "what does it mean when I see the number six a lot?" Cause I will interpret ANYTHING as a sign - numbers, whales, words in the sky. (Ok, there were no words in the sky, but you know, when you're desperate, you look, right?)
Calling my partner for the zillionth time and asking: "did I screw it up?" Or worse, "what you do think the universe is trying to tell me? Can you hear it say anything to you?" (I can feel my own eyes roll into the back of my head when I say that).
Re-reading Danielle Laporte's The Firestarter Series and cracking it open to a random page to see if there were any "messages" popping out on the page. There wasn't. And, if you read all the "random" page excerpts, soon, you'll have read the whole book. Guilty.
I am fine.
I just forgot to do Chapter 9. Which is, um, the whole chapter on stress management. That I, um, wrote.
Because, you know, I'm human.
And, even though I wrote a book, I somehow think that I can slack on my own tools for a few days cause "I'll be fine if I just have a third coffee, do these emails, take this podcast interview, and skip yoga tonight. And tomorrow."
And, because of this, my inner critic sure made it clear that I was in the wrong.
You wrote that dang ass chapter. WTF! You should know that!
You can't get sick right now. You just wrote a book about NOT getting sick!!
What are you thinking? Where have your essential oils been all week? Where are your boundary statements?
So, today I'm writing a permission slip to myself to be human.
And a work in progress.
And even though I have a lot of stuff figured out, sometimes I get so caught up, that I forget to use the tools in my own toolbox.