Holy hell, do things change in a year.
Facebook reminded me that the Bay to Breakers run was a year ago in SF, which was the one of the highlights of 2016.
In 2016, I moved to SF and I was working on my tech start-up, trying to get it off the ground. And, my ego was having a field day. I was meeting with VCs, going to Google, Airbnb, meeting with VPs, and networking like crazy. I was taking the train to Stanford regularly, I was getting meetings, and I was getting in front of people who could fund my vision. Shit, I even got into YC's startup school and then Draper U, and I was on track for applying to Singularity U.
Last summer, I had an awakening.
I was on holiday in a log cabin, deep in the quiet, Canadian woods.
I didn't work on my start-up for a week. And, my work-a-holic self was getting a bit pissed. But, I couldn't deny that I was feeling a resistance towards it.
And I heard this voice:
"What if it was easy?"
"What if you did work that was easy?" That came naturally to you."
To be honest, I fought starting this digital coaching practice for a long time. I thought it would not be "good" enough.
I thought I could never get into the Stanford MBA program doing this. I couldn't get into YC doing this. I mean, how the hell could I ever cross of "making the cover of Inc. magazine" off my bucket list? How will I ever beat Brian Wong, Sauder superstar, and be the most successful grad from my business school? Oh my god, never.
I got really caught up in having a life that looked good versus felt good. And, I got caught up in the need to prove myself.
But, prove myself to who?
To the people who rejected me many, many moons ago at lululemon when I didn't get that internship?
To the people who rejected me at companies I wanted to work at?
To old partners?
To my former self?
To my parents?
To my Sauder peers?
To the high school friends that I didn't like?
Reality check Kelly, those people are NOT keeping score.
My ego loved my old life, but my true self didn't.
You know, I feel so called to do this work.
Seriously, I sometimes feel so emotional about this because I feel a pull, deep in my heart to lead this work. It's genuinely unlike anything else I have ever felt before. I feel like I am being divinely led. I feel like I'm vibrating on an entirely new level.
Sometimes I could cry (happy tears) over the fact that I am so in love with my life right now.
And you know what? It feels good to live this life.
Nothing has ever flowed easier. I mean, I wrote a whole book in 3 months.
I don't need to keep the unofficial SF uniform of new balance sneakers, a gray v-neck, and a vest. I don't need to move back down to the bay area. And, I don't need to scour the Google, Apple, or Airbnb "careers page" ever freaking again.
And to be honest, I am making more money from this business than I did with any of my former, fancy, start-ups.
So, have a word with yourself and see what kind of life you ACTUALLY want to lead.