Holy hell, do things change in a year.
Facebook reminded me that the Bay to Breakers run was a year ago in SF, which was the one of the highlights of 2016.
In 2016, I moved to SF and I was working on my tech start-up, trying to get it off the ground. And, my ego was having a field day. I was meeting with VCs, going to Google, Airbnb, meeting with VPs, and networking like crazy. I was taking the train to Stanford regularly, I was getting meetings, and I was getting in front of people who could fund my vision. Shit, I even got into YC's startup school and then Draper U, and I was on track for applying to Singularity U.
Last summer, I had an awakening.
I was on holiday in a log cabin, deep in the quiet, Canadian woods.
I didn't work on my start-up for a week. And, my work-a-holic self was getting a bit pissed. But, I couldn't deny that I was feeling a resistance towards it.
And I heard this voice:
"What if it was easy?"
"What if you did work that was easy?" That came naturally to you."
To be honest, I fought starting this digital coaching practice for a long time. I thought it would not be "good" enough.
I thought I could never get into the Stanford MBA program doing this. I couldn't get into YC doing this. I mean, how the hell could I ever cross of "making the cover of Inc. magazine" off my bucket list? How will I ever beat Brian Wong, Sauder superstar, and be the most successful grad from my business school? Oh my god, never.
I got really caught up in having a life that looked good versus felt good. And, I got caught up in the need to prove myself.
But, prove myself to who?
To the people who rejected me many, many moons ago at lululemon when I didn't get that internship?
To the people who rejected me at companies I wanted to work at?
To old partners?
To my former self?
To my parents?
To my Sauder peers?
To the high school friends that I didn't like?
Reality check Kelly, those people are NOT keeping score.
My ego loved my old life, but my true self didn't.
You know, I feel so called to do this work.
Seriously, I sometimes feel so emotional about this because I feel a pull, deep in my heart to lead this work. It's genuinely unlike anything else I have ever felt before. I feel like I am being divinely led. I feel like I'm vibrating on an entirely new level.
Sometimes I could cry (happy tears) over the fact that I am so in love with my life right now.
And you know what? It feels good to live this life.
Nothing has ever flowed easier.
I don't need to keep the unofficial SF uniform of new balance sneakers, a gray v-neck, and a vest. I don't need to move back down to the bay area. And, I don't need to scour the Google, Apple, or Airbnb "careers page" ever freaking again.
And to be honest, I am making more money from this business than I did with any of my former, fancy, start-ups.
So, have a word with yourself and see what kind of life you actually want to lead.
Live the life that serves you and show up as who you are. Because the world is waiting.
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